Coloured globalization

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:
When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
Own half the world's perfume industry and still never use deodorant.
You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
If there's a war you can surrender really early.
You don't have to read the subtitles on late night films on Channel 4.
You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street.
People think you're a great lover even when you're not.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:
You can have a woman president without electing her.
You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
You can call Budweiser beer.
You can be a crook/adulterer and still be president.
If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.
If you can breathe you can get a gun.
You can invent a new public holiday every year.
You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy".
You can think you're the greatest nation on earth when you're not at all.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH:
Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah.
Warm beer.
You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.
Union jack underpants.
Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.
You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not.
Ditto changing underwear.
Beats being Welsh.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN:
It beats being an American.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins.
Own-an-eskimo scheme.
Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

Top 10 Reasons You know you are a Bulgarian:
1. You don't want to have or do any business with Bulgarians.
2. You started to drink at the age of 12.
3. Your grandma and grandpa live in your basement.
4. Your parents have a shot of rakiya for breakfast.
5. You live with your mom and dad until you are married.
6. Your mom tells you not to sit on cement or your ovaries will freeze.
7. When you can always smell garlic on your parents breath and they insist that it kills bacteria.
8. Your 15 year old sister can out-drink any American.
9. Your father calls you a dummy for not knowing how to do something he can't do either.
10. You are 18 years old but your parents still call you by your sibling's or pet's name.