My love life is a big mess!
An ex-boyfriend called me yesterday again. We were 2 years ago for a couple of months together, we actually never break up. I just stopped meeting him - there were no specific reasons; I just lost sexual attraction toward him. He is a good boy – patient, well-balanced, he’s got big biceps ;) I have no explanation why I don’t want him back in my life!?!

Few weeks ago I visited a concert of Madonna in the city where I live. There I met a guy who was holding binoculars. Haha :-) Somehow I had a very free behaviour with him and often looked the scene through the binoculars. At the end of the concert we exchanged our phone numbers. I was so excited about the show that I couldn’t remember his name… He called me on the next day to arrange a meeting. Since I was packing my cloths for my summer vacation in Turkey I had no time to meet him. I promised to call him in one week, but actually I called him 10 days later.

I hardly tried to remember his name but unfortunatelly I couldn’t. So that’s why I entered his name in my phone as “Madonna” hahhaha :LOL So yesterday I called “Madonna” and we spoke. Then he called me back and we arrange our first date!

I’m very confused with all my experience, all the things I know, felt, suffered, and desired. Last year I arrived at the conclusion I can not toy well with men /maybe I’m wrong/. I fell into deep thoughts about what I’m doing wrong, how I’m attracting men, what kind of men I’m attracting and other things like that. I meet new guys, have fun to speak with them but I really can not find a man to give him all my love. WHY?
I accidentally found the book “Catch Him and Keep Him” by Christian Carter. I’m still reading it… This morning I read the following paragraph (page 112 from the book)

“...You don’t need to express all your thoughts, feelings and ideas about a topic on the spot, especially if you’re feeling really emotional about the topic. Wait and be patient, and do it when the time is right. Don’t be in a hurry when you’re in tough situations with a man—patience is wisdom and it will help you get what you want...”

How to know when the time is right? How to identify players and guys they are ready to settle down? “To be patient” means for me “a need of time”… Why do men need time? What are they considering? How to know when and how to push the fire-button on a man? Do all the men have the same buttons?

2 коментара:

Anonymous said...

Good contemplation...I remember similar reflections in my youth; I've now been married for 10 yrs. at 33 with 2 beautiful sons. Here's my email in case you ever want to have a wishes! -M

hafizzuan said...

hye..funny on that 'modonna site'..

By the way, u should give yaself a time n space 1st before u r decided to jump into a relationship.. :)

P/S - waiting for your 'Turkey' pics..u should upload it here hehe